Would I get a mortgage?

Hey everyone!

I figure this is probably the best place to get advice of this sort..

So I want a mortgage, Im sick of renting... no matter how nice it is its just never yours.
Me, my partner and 2 young children, we are on a fluctuating income due to me being self employed
we get child tax credit, working tax credit and child benefit also my wages which is nothing for weeks then 300- 500 per week for a while, Its dodgey I know! but surley im not the only self employed person facing this problem.
When it comes to property we know what we want...
neglected
in need of attention
possibly abandoned or slightly derelict

Okay im probably going on abit...
Any help would be apreciated a great deal!

Rich